At the beginning, every social situation felt assessed. Did I speak to enough people? Was I interesting? Did I stay long enough? Did everyone exchange details without me? If I left early, had I missed the hour when acquaintances became friends? This mindset made me socially efficient and personally miserable. I could introduce myself repeatedly, remember programmes and countries, and leave without feeling known. The group chat increased the pressure. Plans appeared quickly and photos followed. Even when I did not want to attend, seeing other people together made the absence feel like a mistake. I am not against parties. I enjoy them when I feel secure enough to be present instead of monitoring myself. In a room of strangers, noise removes the few things that help me connect: hearing a person properly, noticing when they want to continue, and having time to find the sentence. My actual friendships formed elsewhere. One began through walking the same route after class. Another through complaining about a practical task and then continuing to talk. A person in my building asked whether I wanted to join a grocery trip. Somebody mentioned a film, and I took the risk of suggesting we watch it. None of these moments looked like a social breakthrough. They repeated. That was the important part. I also learned to make invitations smaller. “Does anyone want to do something?” in a large chat made me feel as if the whole group had rejected me when nobody answered. Asking one or two people for a specific plan felt more vulnerable and worked more often. There were still awkward moments. Some people were polite and uninterested. Some plans happened once. A few groups were easier to admire than to enter. Belonging did not arrive as universal acceptance. It arrived as reduced performance. I could be quiet without believing I had failed. I could decline a party and trust that friendship would survive. I could spend a night alone because I wanted to, not because nobody had asked. For incoming students watching friendships form online: the beginning is not a deadline. Visibility is not closeness. A crowded photo does not show who felt comfortable. You may find your people through the least impressive plan of the week.